5th January, 2016
Dear Zizou,
Forgive me for making this letter open, but I had no other
option since my inability to afford a flight and discuss with you one on one at
the Santiago Bernabėu also coincided with my failure to get a reliable phone
number or email address with which to communicate with you. Well, even if I had
succeeded in getting any of the aforementioned, I doubt if the communication
barrier between me and you would’ve allowed for any meaningful and effective
discussion. However, with this letter, I hope you’ll employ those translators
you’re relying on to communicate with Gareth Bale to help you interpret the
contents of this letter at your own convenience.
Let me start by ‘sympathizing’ with you on your recent
appointment as the 1st ever French coach of Real Madrid. I also
learnt that you are the club’s 47th manager in its 114 year history.
You are also the 11th manager to work with coach-sacking president, Florentino
Perez. In case you may be carried away, let me also remind you that you’re now the
14th Real Madrid trainer in the last 13 years. So, as you can see,
becoming Real Madrid coach is no longer an achievement. I am sympathizing
rather than congratulating you for four reasons.
First, you are being employed to solve a problem,
which only the president and his board and not a coach can solve. If Perez and
his board have been consistent and kept faith with one team and one coach for
at least four years, no one would be talking of any crisis at Real Madrid. You
may probably say ‘what does this strange guy know about football and who’s he
by the way?’ But Real Madrid’s problem doesn’t need rocket science to solve. If
you disagree with me, just study how Barcelona kept faith with Guardiola and a
single team and then judge for yourself. Alternatively, you can take a look at
Bayern Munich in that regard.
Second, let me be honest with you. I like you very
much, infact you’re one of my favourite footballers of all time, but I must
tell you that your coaching credentials are far more inferior to that of your
last four predecessors in Pellegrini, Mourinho, Ancelloti and even the
overestimated Benitez. I understand that top class coaches no longer want to
join Real Madrid, that’s why you were considered. That may not be true though,
but how about the speculation we are hearing that the club contemplated employing
Pep Guardiola? How much more embarrassing can Real Madrid under Perez become?
How can a Barcelona playing and coaching legend work for Madrid? If you don’t clearly
understand what I mean, let me give you a typical scenario. As a former Real Madrid
legend, do you think you’ll be ever considered even for a toilet-cleaning job
at the dressing room in Catalonia? I don’t need your answer on this.
Third, for Perez and his board, success or failure
doesn’t matter much when it comes to sacking a coach. If I am lying, ask your
former boss Ancelloti. The Italian’s crime crime was that he won four trophies
including a UEFA Champions League La
decima in two years. My real sympathy for you is that, it’s being very very
long since we witnessed the sort of love, loyalty and respect any Real Madrid
squad gave to any coach like the current one gave to Carlo Ancelloti. In
theory, you may naturally get the same respect for the enormous respect you
command in the entire football world, but in practice, it’s difficult and you
have to work hard to earn it.
Fourth, Real Madrid players seem not to have a good
coaching record especially with the club. You are the 18th (two
spells for Camacho counted as one) Real Madrid player that went ahead to become
coach of the club. With the exception of Jorge Valdano and Bernand Schuster who
won one La Liga title each, none of
them managed to win any silverware beyond the lowly Copa Del Rey. Infact, 12 of them won no title at all. Many of them
left in disappointing circumstances, particularly Jose Antonio Camacho. Alfredo
De Stefano, who by all standards is Real Madrid’s greatest player ever, managed
to win only the Spanish super cup in two spells as first team coach.
By now, you might have concluded that I am a pessimist
or I am trying to superstitiously predict your failure. No, that’s far from it.
I am backing you to succeed even though the Perez presidency doesn’t deserve
any success. I am backing you to protect your reputation because failure taints
reputation even if after so many successes had been recorded in the past. I
greatly respect you for inventing new things virtually exclusive to you in
football when you were a player. You, Maradona and Ronaldinho are some of the
contemporary footballers that brought new things into football which were
hitherto never seen before even though your statistics may not be as impressive
as those of Pele, Gerd Műller, Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi. Your nickname
in my native Hausa Language is ‘mai yi mata
dole’ meaning, ‘one who forces the ball to do his bidding’.
Before you become annoyed with me for too much
criticisms without offering solutions, let me remind you that I am a mere
spectator, I have never coached even an amateur team. I use to play football
when I was 10 or 11, so please expect zero tactical solutions from me. However,
I have one advice for you. If your Spanish is good enough which I trust it is,
find Pep Guardiola’s number and secretly call him. Ask him how he used the
Barcelona Academy, La Masia to
achieve, maintain and bequeath success. If that’s too bitter a pill to swallow,
just call your last four predecessors and ask them about how and when to prepare
for Perez’s irrational hammer.
I wish
you good luck and I wish all my prophecies of doom will never come true. I wish
Perez will leave and the next president retains you, but if he stays, may he
give you the time and room to try your luck which I hope will culminate into
you surpassing the achievements of Miguel Muñoz, who in a 15-year reign became Real
Madrid’s most successful manager with nine League Titles, two Champions League
Titles, two Copa Del Rey trophies and
one Intercontinental Cup.
Meanwhile, you don’t seem to be active on Facebook,
but kindly ask that guy operating your twitter handle to contact me via @AmirAbdulazeez, he
tweets with good English; over time, I can communicate more things with you
through him.
Yours
Madridsta,
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